If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
