Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
