just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
