CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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