I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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