How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
