I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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