My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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