Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
