I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize