On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
