I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize