That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
