Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
