You really coming over, don't trick.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
