none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
