Me too!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
