he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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