the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
