I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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