I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
