how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
