So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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