the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
