I must be too annoying 4 u.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
