Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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