Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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