He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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