idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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