well I can't set my house on fire every night
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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