New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
