East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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