Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
