bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
