We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
not ubering you a puppy
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize