Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
