worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She even gives head with a lisp.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm too high and old for this...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
