I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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