apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
