just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
