I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
