you win again, gameday.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
