I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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