I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
