So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
