We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
