Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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