I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
