32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
