think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want to have your abortion
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
