in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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