how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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