After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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