I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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