Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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