I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
