You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We are two peas in an std pod
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
