You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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