4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
