how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
