I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize