Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
