I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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