Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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