I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She announced her abortion via fbk
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
